Saturday, 28 August 2010
"Don't do that, Smart Guy."
"Quit licking your balls, Smart Guy."
This has been the summer of David Sedaris. Andreas and I have been reading and/or re-reading ALL his books. One of our favorite chapters of Me Talk Pretty One Day is called Smart Guy.
When I went to the vet last week with Tia, the vet completed vaccination booklets on our cats and had to write in their names..
(Tia's cat is named Peaches after the cat in a movie called Zohan or something - I haven't seen it, but apparently the cat is used as a hacky sack.. heh heh.)
The vet chuckled at the name Smart Guy and when he wrote it into my booklet, he translated it to his son who was his helper (adorable boy about 10 wearing filthy scrubs.)
Tia's cat traveled to the vet via pet carrier and had peed all over herself. Poor little Peaches was COVERED from head to toe in pee. When the vet opened the carrier, the boy just sighed, turned, and reached for the paper towels. Apparently that's one of his duties (perhaps explaining the nasty scrubs.)
ANYhoo, my cat went to the vet in a pillow case.
The vet said it reminded him of a magician's trick. I wasn't sure what he was talking about at first but when he finished examining my cat, he set Smart Guy back in the pillow case and moved his arms as though he had a magic wand and said ". . . and out comes a chicken!" hahah
When we left the little boy said "Bye, Smart Man."
it was adorable.
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Friday, 23 July 2010
So a few weeks back we stayed at a fancy resort. (Thank you, Uncle Coco, for finding us an uber nice place for crazy cheap!) The hotel apartment had a sign in the bathroom stating that toilet paper cannot be flushed and instructed us to toss it in the trash bin instead. Ew.
Next day, in the same village, we were at a nice restaurant and their bathroom had the same instructions. I mistakenly assumed that the plumbing issues were isolated to this particular village.
Fast forward to last night. We were informed that NO ONE in Cyprus flushes their toilet paper and that, in fact, most of Europe doesn't. I had NO idea. Andreas swears he had no idea either, even though he was born and raised here! He said to me, "apparently, as a child, I wasn't supposed to flush my paper? I honestly had no idea." Um hmmmm... I believe you. . .
Andreas joked saying, "Oh well, time to go back to the States - WE TRIED - but it just didn't work out." I don't think he realizes that he was actually reading my mind when he said that.. :o)
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
The traffic here is unreal. A lot of streets do not have sidewalks! and the ones that do have cars parked on them. As a result, when you walk, you are forced to walk IN the street, as close to the parked cars as possible. The cars in Cyprus, even on the smaller more crowded roads, rarely slow down for us pedestrians. Instead, they prefer to "buzz" us - as my kids call it- passing us with mere inches between us and their side mirror. If the driver is especially aggressive, he'll honk and yell at us. niiiiice.
The road in front of our flat is a big one. The cars on this road drive very fast. After 9 o'clock at night, I wouldn't even dare drive this road. It is frequented by motorcyclists driving over 100 while RACING and/or POPPING WHEELIES. I keep joking about it, but it's actually very shocking and disturbing to see.
Since we arrived, the kids and I have crossed that street (during day light hours only!) several times, essentially risking our lives for some really yummy ice cream sold opposite our flat. It's also where the bank and post office are located, but the ice cream is the true incentive for the real-life game of Frogger. We check (and re-check) to see if it's clear and when a little window presents itself we yell "RUN!" and dart across screaming. Then, when we make it to the other side, we sometimes share a fit of laughter as the sense of relief hits us. Once we have our ice cream in hand we stand in a huddle, psyching ourselves up for the return trip home.
I mentioned this scenario to my mother-in-law today and she was MORTIFIED! She starts saying, "No, no no no no no NO!! Do NOT cross that street! It's too dangerous!! You must go UNDER it!" and explained that further to the south of our apartment is what they call a Pedestrian Subway.
Hmmm.. Good to know!
When I got home I excitedly poured over my city map, which is quite detailed and shows the embassies, post offices, libraries and even parking lots. I had hopes the map legend might reveal more of these pedestrian subways. No such luck.
This bit of information is going to improve, and potentially extend, our lives. Now that I know they exist, I am on the hunt to locate more of these tunnels.
Friday, 9 July 2010
For example: Yesterday I went to the bank here in Cyprus. (This is one of THE main banks of CY.) Observations: Behind the tellers, their "safe" was open and UNATTENDED BAGS of MONEY were just piled all over the floor! It was difficult to hear the teller due to the BOOM BOX playing DISCO music behind her. This was my first experience with Greek Rap Music, but I digress... Most of the tellers had giant glasses of frappes with colorful straws in them. At one point we were helped by a man who looked quite official because he was the only person sitting behind a desk who wasn't eating. However, I'm 90% certain he was drinking a Mimosa.
Another man was sorting coins into a huge machine. The sound, which resembled Vegas slot machines, went on for the entire 45 minutes we were there. It sounded as though someone had hit the "Big Jackpot.” This suave multi-tasker was busy working AND chatting up the ladies.
Just before we left, a teller picked up the unattended piles/bags of money and placed them on the shelves of their “safe” and walked away, still leaving the safe open. (The safe was actually just a grey metal cupboard, like you’d get at Costco for your garage.)
The only thing missing was the Beer Pong. Wait, I think I've already used that line.
Friday, 18 June 2010
As would be expected with island life, most people are wearing sun dresses or bikini tops w/ shorts plus flip flops.. Surprisingly, a great many are DRESSED UP 24/7. Some are really dressed to kill. It is commonplace to see women wearing ultra-tight-mini-skirts and 6" platforms at the grocer. In many aspects, Cyprus reminds me of one big frat party. All that's missing is the Beer Pong.
Monday, 14 June 2010
The elevator in our building is interesting.
It has a big metal door that you physically pull open yourself.
Then there's another metal door on the inside that you push/slide open..
The REALLY TINY elevator is all dim and creepy inside.
It is small. The sign says 3 people MAX but if 3 people go in there it is quite cozy.
Once you get in, slide/shut all the doors and push the button it JERKS REALLY HARD when it finally moves! SOMETIMES the light goes out for a couple seconds (so you are in the pitch black!) which is also creepy.. When it stops at our floor it JERKS to a stop and YOU must PULL the first metal door to the side and then PUSH the second heavy metal door open and WAH LA! you are there. Sorta. The elevator stops in between floors for some reason, so you must take a flight of stairs up or down to your apartment, depending on where you get off! :o)
m&m love the elevator and take it a LOT.
Andreas and I just use the stairs. :o)